One week ago, life dramatically changed for my family. My grandpa went into cardiac arrest, eventually leading to having an AICD implanted. Right now, we know that his heart is only operating at 20%. He is in full blown heart failure. We have no idea what the future holds, and it has been incredibly difficult to accept the reality that the biggest heart I know, is failing. My grandpa has not been himself since the attack and I am afraid I may never encounter my grandpa, Hank, as the man I know, love, and look up to. All that being said, I am glad I got my words on paper while I still had time. My grandpa got to read these words one week ago.
Grandpa and Grandma, As Christmas was approaching, I started writing letters to both of you. They started like this: Grandpa and Grandma, I have thought about what to get you for Christmas for several weeks now. I have realized that there is nothing material that I can give you that will matter more than the words I can give to you, want to give to you, and need to give to you. That’s as far as a got. I fully intended to finish the letters before Christmas, but life (as always) got busy and I just planned on giving them to you later. Over the past few days, I have realized that we won’t always have time on earth together. A realization I have been avoiding for a long time. Yet, I rejoice in the realization that we have eternity together. You have easily been the most influential people in my life. You have supported me through all of life’s transitions and have been present for all of life’s special events. More importantly, you taught my about Jesus and what it means to be a Christian. You have selflessly loved others and sat among “the least of these.” You have given people changes that most others wouldn’t trust. You have shown me how to be faithful in reading my Bible and in prayer. I will always be able to hear Grandpa’s voice slowly fading towards the end of the prayers and I will always be able to envision Grandma’s well-read Bible in a black leather case with handwritten footnotes filling the pages. You have taught me how to be generous in my giving, knowing that my money is not really my money but God’s. I have been the recipient of your generous giving several times, including a replacement laptop my freshman year of school after breaking mine, sending me cash in the mail to help me have a little fun during college, and countless other instances. I know that Ten Commandments because Grandpa took us grandkids to the Shack and spent evenings helping us memorize the Bible. But during the day, it was all about frog catching, apple bobbing, tractor riding, and balloon filling. You have taught my life skills that I will hang on forever. Whenever I sweep all these new hardwood floors, I can hear Grandpa saying, “Are you afraid of the broom?” to us grandkids when sweeping the Shack floor. Grandma you have taught me how to sew and recently helped me refurbished old dining room chairs. There are so many stories that you have told me about your childhood that still make me smile, including the one that grandpa tells about trying to pee on the electric fence. I am incredibly thankful for the book you wrote for me grandma, as it will help me tell my children about you. You have also created so many memories for me. McBain Days and the days leading up to it at the Shack, covered wagon rides, sledding behind the tractor, playing with “the box” at your house, trying to take a bite out of an apple hanging from the ceiling, crazy bread at Kelley’s, Cow Camp, seeing a cow be born with girls from Eagle Village, going shopping and out to dinner while the guys are hunting, trips to Hawaii (your anniversary dinner, walking the strip at night, renting a PT cruiser one day and driving around the island, splitting a HUGE omelet, eating way too much cheesecake) and the list goes on. Thank you, for being present in my life and creating memories that will last forever. I trust the future holds more great memories. You have taught me how to love. I see how you love each other, something I could never do with such grace, because you know, “times have changed.” I see you holding your great-grandchildren with all the love in the world. I have witnessed you lose a grandchild and how much suffering you endured because of how much you loved Nick before his death. I have felt your love as you supported my family through grief. You love your family, no matter what, and would do anything for them. You both love deeply. If you get to meet my children, I know they will feel your love. If you don’t they will certainly know about your legacy. Grandma, you have taught me class and poise. You find the good in people, and are slow to anger. Your sense of humor is one of the things I love about you most. Grandpa, you have taught me honesty and hard work. You are one of the most honest people I have ever met. In fact, today you told me that dying would have been easier than where you are now . You are a hard worker and I try to model that too. Your strong hugs are one of the things I love about you most. I love you both more than my words could ever say, but I thought I would try to tell you anyways. There are countless memories and stories that you have shared with me or created for me that will be passed on for years to come. Whether I have one more earthly hour with you, or twenty more years, I look forward to eternity with the two people that have brought my closest to my Savior. I love you, Your granddaughter, Haley (Monster) People, don't wait to tell those you love the most that you love them, and equally as important, why you love them and how they have shaped your life.
1 Comment
laurie
1/13/2015 01:40:29 am
Haley that was just beautiful!! Love you kiddo
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Hi! I'm Haley. Archives
May 2019
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