Over the weekend, we celebrated my dad's birthday. This year was a lot less rowdy than past birthday celebrations for Steve (ahem his 50th), but we celebrated nonetheless.
In case you don't know my dad, here is how we have to prepare for his birthday: 1. Notifications from the birthday boy himself start arriving approximately one month before his actual birthday, informing us it's his "birthday month" 2. The notifications continue, growing stronger during the week countdown 3. I pick out his card in the "funny birthday" section and try not to get the same one as my sister or mom 4. I spend hours trying to find him the perfect present, but struggle because he doesn't want anything material and already owns everything University of Michigan 5. I give him my funny card, a coupon to come for a grill out on the deck, and refer to him as King Stephen all day. These 5 simple steps of preparation and celebration have been happening for years, and every year I am reminded by my dad that time is really the best gift I can give him. I am so grateful for all the time my dad has invested in his wife, his son, his daughters, and now a new son-in-law. The last part, the son-in-law part, is particularly humbling. Getting married was such a transition for my family, re-entering the term son, or for my sister, brother, back into the family vocabulary was and is difficult and painful. Yet, my dad really pioneered the transition for my family. Austin will never replace Nick, no one will, but I am grateful for a dad who has kingdom vision. Dad, thank you for loving Austin, building with Austin, car talking with Austin, and sharing all your dumb jokes with Austin. My dad's selflessness, love, sense of humor, and investments of time extend much farther than his family. I'm sure many of you who have experienced my dad as a coach, youth group leader, or second-dad, know what I'm talking about when I say he just knows "how to dad." I pray I have years upon years of birthday celebrations left with my dad, and that we will continue to embrace time as the best gift. In the meantime, here's to being ready for whatever his April Fool's scheme is, listening to him when he tells us to "ask google," and watching him laugh so hard at his own jokes he's crying.
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It's hard to believe in two weeks Austin and I could be "parents." I can imagine our experience of waiting for a child is much different than someone who waits for the child growing inside of them. Neither is harder, or easier, just different.
At first, our different was more about not knowing the ages or genders of the children we are trying to prepare for and when they will come. Recently, our different has made me incredibly emotional. What are the children who will be placed with us experiencing right at this moment? Are they scared? Hungry? Tired? Are they safe? It hurts. I didn't know I could feel such a heavy burden for someone I have never met. I feel for their parents too. What types of challenges are they facing? Is anyone looking on them with compassion and choosing to walk alongside them? How many generations has this cycle gone on for and will they be provided with the resources, strength, and courage to break it? What if they don't? What if Austin and I are faced with opportunity of adopting? Will we be a good "fit?" Will we be able to find a balance of honoring birth parents and establishing new family traditions? Will we be able to accept that success may look vastly different for our child than what the world has established as success? How will we afford this long term? On the much more surface level, in trying to keep our experience as transparent as possible, what if these children are super tall? I laugh thinking about the possibility of having children over 5'7" as they will absolutely tower over us. Questions people. They are non-stop. There is no swollen belly ready to pop over here, and no hospital bag packed, but there are two hearts eager for answers and thankful for a God of comfort. I don't think anything can fully prepare you for having a child enter your home, whether it's one you're fostering or one you've birthed. And part of me thinks that's the beauty. John 14:27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. Philippians 4:19 And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. He will supply all of our needs. For the first time in weeks, Austin and I are spending a weekend at home. Today, after laying in bed a little longer than usual, getting a few things done around the house, and waking up from an afternoon nap, we decided to take advantage of the "heat wave" and headed to the Shack.
The Shack is one of the best places on earth. My grandpa used to take all of the grandkids up to the Shack by himself for a week every summer. We would practice apple bobbing, shooting guns, and catching greased pigs. Grandpa would make us his famous deep fried potatoes, teach us about the Bible, and drive us around in a covered wagon hooked up to an old tractor. We would catch frogs, have water balloon fights, and play kick the can. It's a place where there is nothing but you have everything. The Shack is exactly where Austin and I needed to be today. We laughed as we trudged through knee deep snow, we watched Bear fall into the crick after testing out the ice, we carved our names in trees, and shared childhood stories. We dreamt about the future, shared what God is doing in our hearts, and ate too much crazy bread at the only restaurant in town. Today was the best day of married life to date. Sometimes you have to go back to the place that knows you the best, a place where the trees whisper your name and welcome you home. Sometimes you have to unplug, leave your phone in the car, and be with the person who teaches you what selflessness, forgiveness, and love truly mean. ![]() It's hard to believe one year ago Austin and I were living in Ann Arbor just starting the licensing process for foster care! I remember sharing the news on Facebook and in that post, asking for prayer and for specific items we needed in order to be licensed. A woman from my home church in Grand Rapids saw the post, and when Austin and I went home for a weekend visit, she approached us after church and asked if she could throw us a baby/kid shower. I was definitely apprehensive: what would others think about attending a shower for a couple who wasn't pregnant, but expecting a child 0-7 years-old and had absolutely nothing in their home for a child? In that moment, God made it clear that this process was not going to be one that Austin and I can do on our own. This was the start of what I believe will be a long road in humbleness and gratitude. Well, yesterday was the big day and oh my goodness, was it successful! We either received items that we needed or money to purchase what we needed and are ecstatic to say every item, every single item, is ready to go! A crib, stroller, carseat, highchair, fire ladder, carbon monoxide detector, baby monitor, highchair, backpack with school supplies, hygiene products, baby gates, bedding, clothing, toys, books, the list goes on...we are set and children will be blessed because of the church serving as the church. Austin and I are overwhelmed by the amount of support we have received throughout this process. This is one of those times that words simply don't cut it, but thank you. Below is the letter we wrote to those who attended: To Our Village, Thank you so much for supporting us as we prepare our home for foster children! We are humbled by the number of people who have encouraged us in our decision to become foster parents. They say “it takes a village to raise a child,” and in our case, it has taken a village just to make it through the licensing process alone. We believe it is a rare and beautiful gift to have the village that we do. We look forward to see how God continues to use you, our village, as we wait for our license, and eventually, have children placed in our home. A quick update on where we are in the process: We have been fingerprinted, completed all of our paperwork, had one home study, and are waiting to hear from the state regarding our application. The application we submitted was for a maximum of two children ages 0-10 (our first placement will be 0-5). Once we are approved by the state, we will have one final home study to make sure everything is in place for a child to enter our home. Our licensing worker suspects we will receive our first placement in April! Although we are not pursuing foster care solely for the purpose of adoption, (we truly support the reunification process when possible) we are open to adoption if the opportunity arises. Why foster care? is a question we get a lot. When we first started dating, we had the “big dreams conversation” right away (when you date, get engaged, and have a wedding all within 9 months, these conversations naturally happen pretty quickly☺). During the “big dreams conversation” we both talked about our heart for children who have been orphaned. In short, we believe that God has entrusted us with strengths, a village to cover our weaknesses, and a home to open up to others. If you want to hear more about our decision, feel free to ask us, we would love to share! There are a lot of overwhelming realities surrounding the foster care system and children in the system. Both the system and the children are broken, and where there is brokenness, there is opportunity for redemption and restoration. “A child born to another woman calls me mom. The depth of the tragedy and the magnitude of the privilege are not lost on me,” is a quote that often comes to mind when we think about the process, especially adoption. As you can imagine, we are both anxious and excited, scared and hopeful. We are praying over our home, and asking God to make it a haven of rest, joy, strength, and hope, we ask that you join us in prayer for the following:
Blessings, Austin and Haley ![]() Our attempt at sorting has commenced. Not pictured are BAGS and BAGS of clothing. Moms and dads out there, what organizational tips do you have as far as storing all of this? Do you hang or fold clothes? Honestly, there is more stuff in this picture than any other room in our house and we are a little overwhelmed! |
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May 2019
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