I get it. I am not the only person who is upset about Fifty Shades of Grey hitting the big screen. Let me tell you why. It will be short, I promise.
To start, here are a few direct quotes from the books: "No" I protest, trying to kick him off. He stops. "If you struggle, I'll take your feet too. If you make a noise, Anastasia, I will gag you." "He'd probably like to beat seven shades of shit out of me. The thought is depressing." "No please. I can't do this, not now. I need some time. Please." "Oh, Ana, don't other think this." Can I tell you something? I work with a few men who are much like Christian Grey, and therefore, I work with a few women who are much like Anastasia. Hearing personal accounts form the real Anastasias of this world is absolutely devastating. There is nothing romantic about living with someone who is possessive, demanding, jealous, torturing, manipulative, controlling, intimidating, threatening, isolating, or someone who is a stalker and a rapist. It is so important for me to acknowledge that both the Christians and the Anastasias I work with are a result of family cycles and broken systems. Both have experienced horrific trauma that likely inform most of their decisions. And here is where I firmly believe that we get to bridge the gap if we are willing. We need to stop distancing ourselves from the reality of rape culture that is ever so present in our society. We need to feel the gravity and impact of our decisions, including seeing movies that perpetuate violence and abuse. Education yourself and speak out on what you find. Get involved. Walk with the those who batter and those who are battered. Hear their stories and speak life and truth. This post could go on and on. I encourage my friends who are followers of Christ to explore the topic further. It is important for us in different ways. But for now: Throw your books away. Use the $10 you would spend to see the movie in theaters on reforming cycles and systems.
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Making the decision to move to Evart has brought all sorts of challenges, triumphs, griefs, and joys. Austin and I both agree living away from family and friends is by far the hardest aspect of country living. Lately, we have been missing the familiarity of genuine community and have been feeling the strain of limited interaction with others.
This weekend, Austin and I traveled up to Crystal Mountain with 15 of our closest friends that are more like family. A long weekend of intentional living in a community where we are known is exactly what we needed. There was limited cell phone use, with the exception of perfectly-timed pictures to help us remember epic wipeouts, selfies with strangers at the town bar, and snapshots we've taken every year for the past 5+ years. There was a lot of laughter and celebration, thanks to the Winter 2015 Boys vs. Girls Olympic Games, which obviously the girls won. There was a little bit of hiking, and a lot of drinking and napping. There was a lot of life and a lot of love. I have been reading Bob Goff's book, Love Does (thanks Jana). It has been the perfect aid as I strive to do life better than I have in the past. I love that my friends strive to do the same. Over the weekend, we dreamt about saving up to take a year off work to simply experience life, we planned camping trips to embark on this summer, we asked questions and listened to answers about what God is doing in our lives. We did love, and in doing love, we experienced true life through a community that has walked with us through a lot of challenges, triumphs, griefs, and joys. Bob encourages us with the following words: “Living a life fully engaged and full of whimsy and the kind of things that love does is something most people plan to do, but along the way they just kind of forget. Their dreams become one of those "we'll go there next time" deferrals. The sad thing is, for many there is no "next time" because passing on the chance to cross over is an overall attitude toward life rather than a single decision.” “Being engaged is a way of doing life, a way of living and loving. It's about going to extremes and expressing the bright hope that life offers us, a hope that makes us brave and expels darkness with light. That's what I want my life to be all about - full of abandon, whimsy, and in love.” Friends, make the single decision to live a life fully engaged, don't defer to "we'll go there next time." Go today and go to the extreme to express the bright hope that Jesus Christ offers us. Austin and I are so thankful for the support we have received since my last post! A lot of donations have come through that we know will meet the basic needs of the children who enter our home. In addition to organizing children's clothing (now accepting suggestions on how to fold tiny baby clothes) and toys, we have been preparing the room throughout the past two weeks. Prepping the room for children older than infancy has been hard! Who knew it would be so difficult to do a gender neutral 3-7 room? Our options seem to be all things Frozen for girls, or car/train/sports for boys. We decided we were going to stick to a "woodland creature" theme. Two fun DIY NO SEW projects that we have completed are a teepee and a stuffed animal fox taxidermy. Both projects were inspired from this blog. Including paint, we have spent only about $40 on the room so far. We recycled paint by using a color we tried in our living room but didn't love downstairs, curtains were also originally from the living room, the crate was previously used as a TV stand before we found an AWESOME steal at Goodwill for a real TV stand (DIY post about this coming in the future), and the stuffed animals, that we pray will bring comfort to these children, are all animals that were gifted to me after Nick's death. Our splurge for the room will probably be this quilt to bring it all together! Thanks for following us throughout this exciting process!
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Hi! I'm Haley. Archives
May 2019
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