It's hard to believe in two weeks Austin and I could be "parents." I can imagine our experience of waiting for a child is much different than someone who waits for the child growing inside of them. Neither is harder, or easier, just different.
At first, our different was more about not knowing the ages or genders of the children we are trying to prepare for and when they will come. Recently, our different has made me incredibly emotional. What are the children who will be placed with us experiencing right at this moment? Are they scared? Hungry? Tired? Are they safe? It hurts. I didn't know I could feel such a heavy burden for someone I have never met. I feel for their parents too. What types of challenges are they facing? Is anyone looking on them with compassion and choosing to walk alongside them? How many generations has this cycle gone on for and will they be provided with the resources, strength, and courage to break it? What if they don't? What if Austin and I are faced with opportunity of adopting? Will we be a good "fit?" Will we be able to find a balance of honoring birth parents and establishing new family traditions? Will we be able to accept that success may look vastly different for our child than what the world has established as success? How will we afford this long term? On the much more surface level, in trying to keep our experience as transparent as possible, what if these children are super tall? I laugh thinking about the possibility of having children over 5'7" as they will absolutely tower over us. Questions people. They are non-stop. There is no swollen belly ready to pop over here, and no hospital bag packed, but there are two hearts eager for answers and thankful for a God of comfort. I don't think anything can fully prepare you for having a child enter your home, whether it's one you're fostering or one you've birthed. And part of me thinks that's the beauty. John 14:27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. Philippians 4:19 And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. He will supply all of our needs.
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Austin and I are so thankful for the support we have received since my last post! A lot of donations have come through that we know will meet the basic needs of the children who enter our home. In addition to organizing children's clothing (now accepting suggestions on how to fold tiny baby clothes) and toys, we have been preparing the room throughout the past two weeks. Prepping the room for children older than infancy has been hard! Who knew it would be so difficult to do a gender neutral 3-7 room? Our options seem to be all things Frozen for girls, or car/train/sports for boys. We decided we were going to stick to a "woodland creature" theme. Two fun DIY NO SEW projects that we have completed are a teepee and a stuffed animal fox taxidermy. Both projects were inspired from this blog. Including paint, we have spent only about $40 on the room so far. We recycled paint by using a color we tried in our living room but didn't love downstairs, curtains were also originally from the living room, the crate was previously used as a TV stand before we found an AWESOME steal at Goodwill for a real TV stand (DIY post about this coming in the future), and the stuffed animals, that we pray will bring comfort to these children, are all animals that were gifted to me after Nick's death. Our splurge for the room will probably be this quilt to bring it all together! Thanks for following us throughout this exciting process!
Over the past month, a handful of people have asked Austin and I for an update on our foster care process, so we thought we would take time to share with you, who have become our village. We share with you because we are trying to be transparent throughout the process, especially as we ask you for continued encouragement, prayer, and support. In case you didn't know, before moving from Ann Arbor, Austin and I were in the final stages of receiving for our foster care license. Seriously, like one single home study away. Unfortunately, our licensing worker quit right before that one single home study, which forced us to start over with a new agency when we moved to Evart. We are now working with Eagle Village to obtain our license. I used to work at Eagle Village as a youth specialist before going back to school for my MSW, so it has been nice having a sense of familiarity and knowing the organization.
When we moved, we had to donate all of the items that were donated to us because we had no way of moving or storing them. In fact, the morning of our move, we even sold our kitchen table (thanks Craigslist) because our trailer didn't have any more room. Some things we lost in the move were our crib, stroller, infant carseat, and a few toys. Thanks to our village, which now also includes generous strangers who have humbled us beyond words, many items were donated to us as we started preparing again. We are finding that preparing our home in Evart is a little more challenging than preparing our already-to-code apartment in Ann Arbor. Yet, as first time homeowners, we hope it is an opportunity to learn more about fix-it-yourself and do-it-yourself projects. Tonight, after learning earlier today that we should be licensed within the NEXT 2 MONTHS, we started painting "the foster care room." Pictures of our gender neutral, DIY, repurpose anything we can find for free, nursery/room will be coming soon! Also, we are trying to be intentional in all of our preparations, and tonight that included talking about how God was preparing us for such a time as this even in our singleness. The urgency to foster was made clear to me during my time working in residential treatment, working with girls who had "failed" up to 23 placements, and for Austin it was during his sophomore year of college after working a summer at SpringHill. I thank God that I get to do life with a man whose passions are intertwined with mine. We are still in need of the follow items if you no longer have use for them at your home: *Infant car seat *Booster seat *High chair *Fire-ladder for upstairs bedroom *2 baby gates *3 sets of clothing for both genders ages 0-7 *Toys that are appropriate for children ages 0-7 This process has truly humbled us in so many ways. Experiencing support from family, and friends, who at times, are apprehensive of our decision to embark on this journey, because of their immense love and care for us, is another testament to God's provision and faithfulness. We may never be completely ready for this process, but as our neighbor who has also fostered and adopted shared, these children are never ready to be orphans either. We believe that God has called us to open our hearts and our home to His children as we stand in the gap for children who often fall between the large cracks in today's foster care system. |
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Hi! I'm Haley. Archives
May 2019
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