It's hard to believe in two weeks Austin and I could be "parents." I can imagine our experience of waiting for a child is much different than someone who waits for the child growing inside of them. Neither is harder, or easier, just different.
At first, our different was more about not knowing the ages or genders of the children we are trying to prepare for and when they will come. Recently, our different has made me incredibly emotional. What are the children who will be placed with us experiencing right at this moment? Are they scared? Hungry? Tired? Are they safe? It hurts. I didn't know I could feel such a heavy burden for someone I have never met. I feel for their parents too. What types of challenges are they facing? Is anyone looking on them with compassion and choosing to walk alongside them? How many generations has this cycle gone on for and will they be provided with the resources, strength, and courage to break it? What if they don't? What if Austin and I are faced with opportunity of adopting? Will we be a good "fit?" Will we be able to find a balance of honoring birth parents and establishing new family traditions? Will we be able to accept that success may look vastly different for our child than what the world has established as success? How will we afford this long term? On the much more surface level, in trying to keep our experience as transparent as possible, what if these children are super tall? I laugh thinking about the possibility of having children over 5'7" as they will absolutely tower over us. Questions people. They are non-stop. There is no swollen belly ready to pop over here, and no hospital bag packed, but there are two hearts eager for answers and thankful for a God of comfort. I don't think anything can fully prepare you for having a child enter your home, whether it's one you're fostering or one you've birthed. And part of me thinks that's the beauty. John 14:27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. Philippians 4:19 And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. He will supply all of our needs.
1 Comment
Virginia
3/16/2015 11:23:46 am
We are about to start our training, and we have the same questions! Thank you for putting it so beautifully.
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Hi! I'm Haley. Archives
May 2019
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