In the beginning stages of dating, Austin and I talked a lot about how we envisioned God forming our family. Biological, fostered, and adopted were all words included in our talks. Our talks were equally as exciting as they were terrifying.
We also talked a lot about all the things we wanted to do as parents and didn't want to do as parents. (I know, I know, "just wait until you have kids" right?) We wanted to do humility and grace, always teaching our children parents are human and sinful too. We wanted our kids to know we will try to extend forgiveness and unconditional love the same way Christ does to us. We wanted to do adventure, laughter, and spontaneous. We wanted to do family dinners around the kitchen table, rustic camping trips telling stories around the fire, and silly road trip games. We didn't want to put kids before our marriage, causing strain and tension. We didn't want to do strict or sheltered. We didn't want to do a whole lot of iPads, iPhones, ieverything, or social media. We didn't want to pressure our kids into fitting societal standards. And here we are, almost two weeks into parenthood with our first little guy Mr.T. Whoa. It's really hard, especially with a million different sources telling you how to do this gig. Becoming an "instant parent" has been so humbling. The MSW degree I thought would be so beneficial in this process, yeah, I can throw that right out the window. None of my textbooks taught me how to deal with tantrums because I put sauce on spaghetti noodles or because we can't watch Spy Kids at 1am. However, I am thankful for the most important Book. The one teaching us that love conquers all. Our marriage and individual relationships with Christ are strengthening daily for the simple fact this is requiring more faith and trust than we imagined. I'm thankful for it. We are learning so much through this process. Before entering parenthood, I asked Austin to keep me accountable to one thing even if we were unable to keep the rest of our "do's and dont's": I want to experience joy by celebrating and cherishing every placement, every adoption, and God willing, every pregnancy. I also want to honor others who have experienced loss, infertility, and longing, by keeping complaints at bay and facing each day gratitude. Sometimes it's hard, and we certainly aren't doing this perfectly or heroically, but when you fight back with joy, God supplies your needs and reminds you to laugh when you're acting like a burrito wrapped in a towel to get your kid dried off.
1 Comment
Susie McIntosh
5/27/2015 01:52:59 pm
Wow, Haley what a new adventure for you & Austin. I can't imagine being an instant mom. But we know that our Father doesn't give us more than we can handle. His grace is there every step of the way. And looking for a 'Joy Bomb' everyday is the way to go.
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Hi! I'm Haley. Archives
May 2019
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