This summer I did something I should have done a really long time ago. I ditched social media and spent my summer (mostly) unplugged. Mostly because a. I'm human b. Facebook marketplace c. How in the world did people connect with someone who's phone number they didn't have before social media Of all the things I feel like God could directly ask me to do, I felt like giving up social media for a few months was dumb and insignificant. Does it really matter? I justified and ignored for awhile "I need Facebook for my job." I don't. "Social media is inspiring." Yes, it can be, but so is reading a book. "What if I miss a really good deal on baby/kid gear?" Like we need any more. Finally, I bit the bullet Father’s Day night by uninstalling and deactivating. I texted a friend who immediately validated the need and actually said, "I'm in too." Doing hard things together is so much better. It actually sounds silly to me that fasting from social media is classified as "hard things" in my book but, #reallife. It took me more than 11 days to stop reaching for my phone all the time to check social media. I felt like a deer in headlights every time I opened my phone and there was nothing to do or scroll through. If I’m honest, I’m still not comfortable standing in elevators, or any other “down time” in social settings, without being on my phone. I know I’m not alone in this because over the last two months, it has been glaring how no one interacts. I don't think its because we don't know how to, but because we don't have to. Also, do you know how many conversations start with did you see "such and such" on Facebook or Instagram? The funny meme, unimportant viral videos/"news", real news, surprising engagement or pregnancy announcement...and on and on. Austin and I were guilty of it too, and it has been refreshing for a conversation to start with, "Today this happened to me," or "I noticed this." Real conversations about real things that actually matter, so good. We had one of my favorite conversations since being married during this media free summer. It's really cool to hear what Austin cares about, have him listen to what I care about, and map out some of our future hopes and goals. We’ve come really far since “I do.” For me, being unplugged wasn’t because I was spending unhealthy amounts of time on social media. It was more focused on the ugly comparison game I played and feeling anxiety as a result. I would follow people who I don't know and will never meet, yet somehow made me feel less than. "They are working harder than me, they took their kids camping and they didn't have to leave at 11pm because their kids wouldn't sleep? (cough cough us this weekend), they run how fast 8 months pregnant?, how does someone in their 20s afford a house like that?" A few notes on all that, without sounding too much like an internet troll, who in the world uses a postpartum picture WITH THEIR HOSPITAL BRACELET STILL ON, as a before picture to promote their fitness program? Lady, you just had a kid. I can't deal. That is how women who just gave birth are supposed to look like. Camping with kids at 2.5 and almost 1 was a train wreck in terms of sleep all 3 TIMES we tried, good thing I didn't have to try to make that look perfect for you on social media. It is a beautiful thing to get in your bathing suit, have someone take a picture, and not really care because you don't know whether or not people are seeing that picture of you. Of course transformation or achieved goal, perceived financial stability and wealth/health are good, but loving yourself where and how you are is really great too. Being unplugged for two months before my daughters first birthday was so important and special. This was the fastest year of my life. At 10 months old I still felt like I didn’t completely know my daughter (I hear that happens when you have kids 1.5 years apart). Being unplugged has allowed me to watch, with undivided attention, my daughter learn to use a walker, talk (first official word besides ma-ma and da-da is dog, no surprises there), and explore new things. Jade has been the sweetest addition to our family. She is the most content child I know and rolls with the punches, sometimes literally (thanks Nick) with joy and grace. Moral of the story, God might ask you to do things that seem so small, and frankly dumb. You might question if it's really God asking you to do it because does the God of the universe really care about my social media usage? He does, and there is nothing better than waking up with a clear, anxiety-free, head, and reaching for something other than a device. Summer 2018, you and all your blueberry picking, Shack trips, pool and beach days, camping despite terrible sleep, wedding and bachelorette celebrations, slow mornings, hikes and bike rides, and watching my babies grow and learn were so so good.
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Hi! I'm Haley. Archives
May 2019
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