On Friday, you will be gone 13 years. The equal number of years you were here with us.
Nothing about this seems equal. Nick, you're next to me in my living room, in a memory book that sits on the coffee table. The worn pages so carefully tell our family story. You were a beautiful baby, full of charm with your dark brown eyes. Mom dressed you in the silliest, yet most adorable outfits. Mom and dad, grandpas and grandmas, aunts, and uncles, it is clear they were enamored by you. Mom wanted nothing more than to be your mom. Then you became a big brother. It looks like you adored Olivia and I when we were babies, holding us so carefully and gently. Your gentleness continued into my toddlerhood. My favorite picture is the one you're holding my hand while I'm picking a wedgie next to the sea doo. The pictures tell of your "all in" mentality that started from the get go, as there are countless pictures documenting your trends: cowboy boots with no other clothes on, Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers, Lions, Mike Piazza, Nike...the list goes on. Your smile is so big and wide in almost every picture. I can hear your booming laughter joking around with dad, or from when the time you accidentally triggered a stink bomb at a store on the way to South Carolina. As you grow throughout the book, your eyes lose their innocence and seemed to filled with a deep understanding and genuine empathy for the hurts in this world. You were full of sincerity. There is a picture of you pitching. You were such a good athlete and yet there was a time your integrity and love for people couldn't bear to strike a friend on the opposing team out. I can't count the times I've heard that you were the type of kid who "wore their heart on their sleeve." That is something I've always admired. You simply didn't care about being rough and tough when you saw others hurting or when you were experiencing pain and grief. You grew in humility, boldness, and love. The pictures speak so loudly of your love and passion for life. And like that, I'm lost in the world of what was as you sit next to me in a memory book. As the book nears it's end, there are pictures of our community, who rallied around us and kept your memory alive through golf outings, Steggie Classics, quilts, dinners, and so much more. There are pictures of your tombstone which snaps me back into reality quicker than any other picture in the whole book. Nick, we want nothing more than to have you sitting next to us at the next family gathering. If you could see a memory book documenting the 13 years following your death this is what you would find: Your baby sister, the ones you made up those 3 crazy code words with, she will be turning 21 in a few short months. She's absolutely beautiful. She's also quite the fashionista. I think she gets her love of "brands" from you. You would be so proud of her bravery and strength. She's lost a lot but she never gives up. And your parents? You would see two souls who have fought harder than anyone I know for their marriage and the happiness of their remaining children. You would see two selfless people who were thrown into grief and still decided to follow Jesus without turning back. Your dad is still hilarious and your mom is still kind as ever. I'll say it Nick, you would see four tired and weary eyes, who miss their son and an entire family who has kingdom vision, awaiting the promise of Heaven. We love and miss you fiercely.
1 Comment
colleen
5/12/2015 11:07:07 am
Haley, I miss Nick so much. You are a loving caring sister. You have a ton of compassion for others like your brother. Love you, Haley.
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Hi! I'm Haley. Archives
May 2019
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