I am really bad at being bad at things. I credit this to my perfectionistic, ultra-competitive, slightly obsessive personality. I'm starting to realize how boring, routine, and predictable this has made my life. Really guys, I only do things that I think I'm good at or that are familiar. I think it's driving my adventurous (yet oh so patient) husband slightly batty. Every week is pretty much the same, we eat the same foods and go to the same restaurants, we walk and bike the same paths, play the same games, and do activities I think I'm good at...BORING and kind of obnoxious (if you play one round of Bananagrams with me you will know why).
The sermon on Sunday really challenged me to think about the way I live my life. The biggest takeaway was that I am hesitate to share the gospel because my life isn't perfect. "We think the witness to the power of the gospel is how good our lives are. If our witness is our lives are perfect and we have it all together, then our witness tells others to follow God to get a perfect life. You don't follow God to get a perfect life, you follow God to get Jesus. When we lead with our goodness and success we are no longer preaching the gospel, we are preaching idolatry and the goodness of our lives instead of the goodness of our God." Guilty. I am striving so hard for perfect and I am so far from it. "One of the brightest billboards of the sufficiency and grace of Christ is your weakness not your strengths." My failures are my biggest opportunity to share the gospel and I'm not allowing myself fail all that often (or at least let it show because my marriage, parenting skills, and walk with Jesus are far from perfect). So, we are shaking things up a little bit in the Stone family. I officially accepted a job completely and totally out of the "good zone" (what I feel I'm good at). I will be working as a juvenile probation officer for Kent County. Am I going to be the best? Nope. Am I probably going to get snowed over by some smart kiddo who has endured more than I can ever imagine? Am I going to learn more about myself and my need for Jesus? Yup and yup. On a small scale, we are shaking things up every day by trying new things. If I'm not doing something new, I'm doing something out of the routine, predictableness that is my life. Last night before going to bed Austin said, "I'm so sick of doing things that are measurable, even down to how straight I'm mowing the lawn." I'm sick of it too, and I'm ready to be better at being bad. I made homemade granola bars on Monday (this was scary, because I'm SO opposite of Betty Crocker and there was a high chance they would turn out awful). I'm starting a new 4-week high intensity workout class. I don't know anyone else joining, how I'll make friends, or if I'll be the most out of shape. I might fail at a couple of things, or all of the new things I try. But boring and serious are getting way too boring and serious and it's not an effective way for me to live out the gospel.
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Hi! I'm Haley. Archives
May 2019
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