9am and came and went and Mr. T, with all of his belongings, was on his way to his new home. Yesterday T was up at 5:40am ready to roll. Last night was full of wake-ups, asking to 'nuggle in our bed. I was praying God would allow him to sleep in this morning. Can you imagine being 5 and waking up to see all of your belongings packed in boxes sitting a mudroom waiting to be picked up by a transporter you don't know that well and being brought to a family you were re-introduce to just last week? I can't. I was scared for T and despite several "transition conversations," I knew nothing would be able to prepare us for how to do today gracefully. The last thing I wanted was for him to wake up super early and try to pretend today was normal for several hours before the transporter arrived.
Mr. T slept until 8:23am. There it was again, provision. I was quick to open my Facebook app while watching him sleep and start mindlessly scrolling. Honestly, Facebook has been the perfect distractor through all of these transitions. I felt guilt sitting on Facebook an hour before T left, I wanted to be praying over T but wasn't sure how. That's the beauty of having a relationship with Christ, I didn't need to know how. This morning I offered prayers of bravery and restoration for Mr. T and prayed the exact same thing over my marriage and personal life. I am struggling to comprehend that at 8:58 I was called mom and less than two minutes later, "our" little guy was one his way to a new home. I have learned so, so much about myself through the foster care process that I'm sure I will be able to share better in the future that I can right now. But please, if you see me in person ask me about my experience, help me process, ask to see pictures. You won't believe what a ham Mr. T is. I was humbled this morning and was gently assured Austin and I will be entering into a season of restoration. I wish finding restoration meant sitting back while the pieces fall back into place, but I know it doesn't work that way. We can't restore with so much distraction and busyness. Austin and I have had multiple conversations about taking time to "reset" after T left. Less Facebooking, more talking. Less Netflixing, more Bananagramming. Less worrying, more stepping out in faith. We feel confident God will provide restoration if we are obedient. Tonight we are starting this intentional, pre-baby season of restoration by taking our pup and going on a fall walk. "But if not...he is still good." REPEAT. But if T wasn't forever, he is still good. REPEAT But if our house doesn't sell, he is still good. REPEAT Believe. Experience restoration.
1 Comment
Ruth vanderheide
9/30/2015 03:33:15 pm
You do not know how proud I am of you. Your thoughtful writing, honesty, and compassion are show wisdom and a reliance on Immanuel, God with us.
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Hi! I'm Haley. Archives
May 2019
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