This time next week I’ll either be a marathoner or I won’t, but there’s a 100% chance I’ll be on the couch icing, working on rest and recovery, and celebrating the fact distance running is over for me for awhile. (By awhile I might mean forever).
I don’t think I’ve ever committed to something I wasn’t completely sure I could do. My Type A, perfectionist personality usually makes me feel prepared and confident for things I “go for.” Running a marathon isn’t something I’m completely sure I can do. I can't control (or predict) how far my body can go. There's limits on these things, I'm sure of it. The furthest I’ve run is shy of 19 miles. 7.2 more miles seems overwhelming to me. I’m terrified of failing. What if I can’t do it? My friends, who have ran hundreds of miles with me since November, have helped me process what’s happening next week Saturday. In short, here are my 3 takeaways they've instilled in me: 1. If I try, it’s impossible for me to fail. 2. If I can’t finish, how wild is it to be able to say I have actually pushed my body to its full potential and discovered my maximum physical ability? Not very many people can say, they've tested their bodies to that degree. 3. "Finish the fear" (great tool to use if you're wanting to go for something but filled with fear) If I don't finish the marathon then... My answer to that is: If I don't finish the marathon, then I'm going to be embarrassed because I put this big goal out there for the world to see and the end product (not crossing the finish and walking off the course) isn't super glamorous. If that's the biggest risk, then who freaking cares. I think we've created an "end product" culture. You buy a house, the world sees via social media you bought a house. (If you're a millennial you start playing the game with your spouse/friends, "How did so and so afford XYZ"). They don't see years of scaling back, budgeting, getting approved, and borrowing down payment money from parents. You get pregnant. The world sees you got pregnant. They don't see months of trying, tons of worrying, and a number of pregnancy tests you would never admit to taking in a week's time. You finish a marathon. The world sees you run 26.2 miles. Awesome end product. What I hope you've seen: Months of training, hundreds of miles, starting from scratch with 13 minute miles, wanting to give up, ugly runs, great runs, dedication, a selfless husband, running=life (I seriously don't know what I'm going to do with all my time), grief, joy, and so much more. One thing I'm still trying to shield you all from, how horrifying my feet look in sandals right now. End product culture really stinks, especially when you're trying to get end products without realizing what really goes into, and beyond the scenes, of big accomplishments and major life changes. Share the ugly, share the messy, and keep sharing the bright moments too. One more time for good measure...whether or not I finish, I can’t fail because I tried. Bayshore, which we’ve appropriately renamed Babeshore, we are coming for you.
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Hi! I'm Haley. Archives
May 2019
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